Love of All Loves
It was appropriate then, on Valentine’s Day, to learn that one of my best friends is expecting her second child. A good number of my best girl friends are preparing for children — first children and second children. Having cried many a night with these women, it’s amazing to see how far we’ve all come. From tears of defeated love to tears of incomparable love, we’re all growing so much. Their whole lives are changing right before my eyes. It is such an honor to be part (even just a tiny part) of the journey.
Having just been married, it’s hurtful to hear of love and trust betrayed. As the details begin to unravel, it feels selfish and it sounds more and more malicious. What happens between the engagement and the day you decide to cheat? That singular day that changes the course of your relationship forever? Whether caught, admitted, or hidden a cheating spouse changes the relationship forever.
When I think back on our wedding and our engagement, I remember the discussions leading up to our engagement most fondly. The wedding was lovely, the engagement was delirium, but the deciding to do it, to me, was the best. We were deliberately making a decision about the future. A future we wanted together. How does all that get lost? Where does it all go? My only answer is to say that it likely was not there to begin with.
I had a dream that someone I knew left her husband. Recently, she said they married too soon, too young. And so she’s left. Knowing her is knowing that she has her own issues to work through and as we’ve all heard times before, you can’t love someone else until you love yourself.
It started snowing at about 2 pm and we were advised that the city expected two inches. Two hours later, Choy and I got home…that was after Choy was on the road for an hour. Luckily, Choy and I celebrated Valentine’s Day the Wednesday before — with beer and cheese curds, yum! — so our plans weren’t ruined by the five inches of snow the city received. Five inches of snow shouldn’t be that big of a deal considering we’ve got about 16 inches out in the yard, but the city is running low on salt. We’re not huge celebrators of Valentine’s Day. As Choy said, on our first Valentine’s Day married, “every day is Valentine’s Day.”